What were you thinking
by puppypants
Summary: Revised, McGiva. Ziva is pregnant, McGee was shot and she has difficulty controlling her worries over the matter.


Hi, I do not own NCIS or any of its characters (Wouldn't it be cool if they made action figures?) This one is a McGiva so you have been warned

XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

"What were you thinking?!"

Ziva followed Tim into his apartment slamming the door behind her sending a blast of air that billowed the curtains hanging in front of the nearest open window. Tim had entered the livingroom turning towards her with upturned hands.

"Tony had no idea he was a target! I had to do something-"  
"Tim! I am pregnant! With your baby! Do you really want this child to be fatherless before he or she is even born?!"

"Come on...it was only a mere scratch-"

"Don't you give me it was only a "scratch" business; you had to have stitches-"

"Only a few-"

"Inside and out."

Ziva sighed, as she ran her trembling hand through her hair absently staring at the counter in front of her stacked with dishes. She used her old-stand-by of disguising her fear with displayed acts of anger as she recalled the haunting vision of Tim being shot in front of her." I can't erase that image of you falling to the pavement after I heard the gun go off!"

"Ziva. I just passed out...it hurt." Tim whispered in response absently rubbing his upper right arm with an apologetic expression, cautiously inching his way closer to her.

"Come on...don't you think its a good time for make-up sex now?" He asked with a weak grin. A ceramic dinner plate flew past his head smashing on the wall behind him. Tim had unnecessarily ducked as the plate was at least a foot to his right when it whipped by. His eyes were huge with shock contemplating the white shards that lay behind his feet then focusing on Ziva with concern and wariness. He ran a hand down his face checking his patience. He knew she could have hit him if she wanted to but it still felt a little too close for comfort.

"Not yet, huh? Because if this is your idea of foreplay, I have a few constructive suggestions-"

Ziva disregarded his sardonic attempts to alleviate her frustration. "Face it. You're just going to have to transfer...back down to Cyber Crimes-"

"To the basement?" Tim's voice cracked, his eyebrows raising in question to her suggestion... or had she meant it as an order? "Okay. Now you just want to punish me for participating in the act that got you...this...way." Tim subtly waved his hands in the air directed towards Ziva's torso simultaneously fearing for the welfare of his dinnerware. "Hey..I didn't force you to have sex-"

Another plate whizzed by his head. He cowered automatically watching the plate fly by then quickly swung back anticipating another. So these were those irrational pregnancy hormones kicking in that he had been warned about, then again, he guessed his sarcastic comebacks were not helping the matter. When did he become so much like Tony?

Ziva should have learned by now that this was the man she had fallen in love with. Always putting his life before others without hesitation. If it wasn't a bullet he was taking for a comrade it would be pushing an unknown helpless pedestrian out of the path from an oncoming car. But when she had seen him drop to his knees next to Tony on the sidewalk today all she could think was that she had lost him, and that was a fear she never could imagine experiencing again. She, so, anticipated the impending time in her life when she could witness Tim father their baby with his reliable traits; genuine nurturing and gentle temperament.

"Okay...th-th-that was uncalled for, but hey, if you were pregnant when you were an assassin lets just say that would have made some interesting topics for reporters. You can just see the headlines...informant drug cartel killed by his own fine China-" McGee's smile dissipated when he noticed his former Mossad girlfriend glaring at him while she flicked the blade of her knife in and out of its sheath; McGee gulped.

"So...its time to clean your knife...is it? Because I don't see any other reason you might need the use of your knife right now." Ziva did not respond with so much as a smirk. Tim wondered just how many other men had the worry hanging over their head of their girlfriend's defined talents with throwing knives.

"Zeevs, come on. Its the weekend...let's not ruin it by fighting. I was looking forward to spending time with you-" Ziva looked at him, a smile growing across her firm lips, his plead for her love always got to her. With vulnerable tears in her eyes she felt as if she were breaking down. She could never stay mad at him.

"Muh-Gee...I'm scared."

Tim pleaded, "Ziva, I'm sorry-"

"Please. Let me finish. I've lost so many people close to me, my brother, sister and mother...all to violence. And now we are having a small baby that will be at our mercy. ... all my life I have lived with impending danger and now I have fallen in love with someone who does the same. I had grown afraid to love, at a very young age. Its difficult for me to believe ones closest to me would be able to stay safe."

Tim had stepped slowly, closer to her, she could see the love in his beautiful, green eyes as his face became sympathetic, his thick brows furrowed.

"I know this is the only kind of life I know but I am beginning to wonder if I might be able to try another...kind of life. One without violence and death staring me in the face day and night.

"Ziva...what are you saying? Please... don't do this. I can-"

"Tim, I can't expect you to live a life that does not define who you are. You would soon resent me... and the baby."

"But you are who I am...the baby is...you both come first. Ziva, I'll do what I have to, to insure you are both kept safe-"  
"And what about your safety? I don't want to lose you, too. "

"Come on, Ziva. We both know we're all living on borrowed time. No one knows when their time is up-"  
"But you're at high risk, constantly!"

Tim was at a lost for words. He watched her as she grabbed her coat then slowly made her way to the door.

"Tim. Just give me some time to think. And please don't worry." She walked to him placing her hand on his cheek with a soft kiss to his frowning lips. Then she left, quietly closing the door behind her. Tim dropped to his knees once, again that day, but in worse pain than previously.

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When she entered his apartment she was surprised to find all the lights out as it was still early prompting Ziva to question why he would be in bed. She had realized she couldn't keep herself from him for another night so she would sneak her way into his bed and snuggle up beside him praying he would not kick her out. She quietly entered his bedroom, tiptoeing to kneel by his side of the bed to where he was sprawled out, face down, an arm draped over the edge. She ran her fingers through his hair down his bare, soft back causing goosebumps. He was in a deep sleep, his breathing heavy and slow. His cheeks were flushed, prompting her to feel his forehead which was damp and hot.

"Tim?" She softly shook his shoulder but he didn't respond. She leaned closer brushing back his hair as she repeated his name out loud.

"Tim, answer me. Are you sick? You're burning up."

Tim's eyelids were too heavy to fully open as he blinked in confusion. "Seeva? I... mist.. you.." Ziva's heartbeat quickened when she detected slurring in his speech. He attempted to lift himself on his arms but he fell back down into the bed too weak to support himself. She briefly examined his wounded arm surrounding the edges of the bandage alarmed at the significant swelling and redness that had developed over the weekend.

"Tim your gunshot wound must be infected. Did you see or call Ducky?"

Tim shook his head in the pillow. "I was gonna in mornin. Too, tired." Tim answered her with his eyes closed, his head still nestled on the pillow.  
"Why didn't you call me?"

"I didn't want to bother you...you needed time-"  
"Tim!" She adjusted his blankets and pulled them lower in hopes to decrease the temperature of his fever. "You're so hot. I'm going to call Ducky." Tim had fallen back to sleep.

"Damn you." she whispered. She leaned back sighing. "Who am I kidding. This is all my fault." She got a cold washcloth from the bathroom then wiped down his warm face and laid it over the back of his neck. She dialed Ducky's number on her cell phone.

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Ducky entered the bedroom to find McGee sleeping in his bed as Ziva had found him.

"And, you haven't seen him all weekend until now. So there is not much you can tell me. Has he been coherent since you have arrived?" Ziva followed behind the doctor eager to get back to Tim's side.

"He woke for a minute, Ducky, and said he was very tired. His wound is red and swollen and he seems to have a high fever. I am worried his injury has become infected."

"Well, you have every right to be concerned young lady." Ducky took a gander lifting Tim's draped arm from the side of the bed. "Oh, my. It does." Ducky sat on the edge of the bed next to Tim.

Ducky first listened to Tim's lungs by placing his stethoscope on his back. "His lungs appear clear. That is a good sign."

"Timothy? Could you wake for me please?" Ducky was unable to arouse him as he gently shook his shoulder.

"Why won't he wake Ducky?"

He would seem to be suffering from one of the symptoms, lethargy, though, his is quite extreme. "My dear Ziva, If you would be so gracious as to assist me. I need to turn him over."

"Why...of course, Ducky." Ziva got on the bed and positioned herself by McGee's side. Together they rolled him over being extremely wary of his wound. Ziva patiently observed the docter administer his gentle touch throughout his exam to Tim as she stroked his shoulder while sitting by his side on the bed.

Ducky patted Tim's deep, red cheek. "Timothy?" Tim blinked with lazy eyes smiling at the sight of Ducky leaning over him in his bedroom.

"Ducky! Hello."

"Now young lad, before you drift off again I would like you to take these pills-"

"Okay, Duck."

"They are antibiotics and a fever reducer."

The slightest amount of water from the glass Ducky was helping him drink from rolled down McGee's chin as he slurped the pills down. Ziva swiftly wiped his chin with her sleeve. McGee's head then fell back and rolled to the side as he snuggled his head back into his pillow succumbing to sleep.

"Well, a hello, Ducky and his first dose of meds will suffice for the moment."

"I wonder...is there anything else that could be causing strife in young Timothy's life right now that you may know of? If there is, there is a good probability it has weakened his immune system. That could, also explain his intensified exhaustion." Ziva sniffled looking down at her hands wringing over her crossed legs.

"Oh, I see. You do not have to tell me any details, Ziva but if this could at all help in Tim's welfare-"  
"I'm afraid we quarreled, Duck and I spent the weekend away from him. He seemed very upset when I left and-"  
"Would this have something to do with this injury he accepted on Tony's behalf on Friday?"

Ziva nodded still looking down while Ducky placed a hand on her knee. "My good woman. I hope you do not in anyway feel guilty over this."

"The ironic thing is, Ducky I was mad at him for getting hurt. I should have been here to take care of him. I'm such an idiot." Ziva angrily slapped her thigh.

"Well, I can assure you my dear girl, Tim will be fine after a few doses of antibiotics." Ducky watched a tear fall down Ziva's cheek, her shoulders trembling. She nodded as she supressed a sob. Ducky tipped Ziva's chin up with his thumb to look into her swollen eyes.

"Now tell me if I'm wrong but I have a feeling the old rampaging pregnancy chemicals have been in overdrive lately." Ziva nodded. "That was what I was afraid of. Ziva, the best medicine for you would be for you to let Timothy to take care of you. He's a very understanding and patient young man."  
"You're right Ducky. And all I have been doing is pushing him away."  
"I'm sure you don't mean to, but now that you have realized your trangression you are free to mend your ways and move on."

"Thanks, Ducky...but I don't know if its just that easy..."

"Tell me this, Ziva. Would you rather he not be in your life at all than to be worried about him at times due to his line of work? Am I right?"

"You are a smart man, Dr. Mallard." Ziva grinned with tears running down her face.

"Now tell me my dear woman. Has Timothy been loyal to you by fetching your food craving requests?

Ziva laughed out loud, "Yes, Ducky. And he is gaining weight just as I am." Ducky gave McGee a playful pat on his bare belly in response to Ziva, instigating another laugh from her.

"Oh, my dear girl, its a joy to hear your laugh. And it helps keep those hormones in check. And if I may ask, what has been your biggest food craving?"

"Well, Ducky that would be burritos with cheese, salsa, gruacamole, beef, potato chips and pickles."

"Now that does not seem too peculiar-"

"Well, all those ingrediants are in the burrito."  
"My now, that actually sounds...delectable." Ducky grinned while licking his lips gaining another giggle from Ziva.

"Now if there are any more concerns just give me a hollar, young woman." Ducky worked his way to the door and Ziva hopped up to follow. "And I will see myself to the door. You stay with Timothy."  
"Thanks again Ducky. I am so grateful. You have helped both him and me and I don't know how I can thank you."

"Always a pleasure, Ziva. Always a pleasure."

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Ziva sighed then looked at Tim from across the room. "Oh, Timmy I am so sorry." She found a pair of pajamas, dressed, made a light dinner in the kitchen, brushed her teeth then climbed into bed reaching over Tim to switch off the lamp. She draped her arm over his waist then delicately kissed his chest. Her thoughts drifted away as she allowed the calming sound of his rhythmic breathing begin to lull her to sleep. "I'll never leave you, Tim." Ziva heard a low mumble.

"Tim? Are you awake?

"I'll never leave you, too, Zeevs."

Ziva leaned over Tim and switched the light back on then looked down into his blinking eyes and sleepy face while feeling his forehead thrilled his fever was abating.

"Oh, Tim, I am so sorry. I should never have brushed you aside this weekend-"

"Its okay, Zeevs? Ducky explained in full detail about the...inevitable...pregnancy hormones to me just a few days ago. You don't have to be sorry, I understand." McGee's voice was sleepy but so much more articulate than before.

"No, Tim. It was wrong of me. Will you forgive me?" Tim nodded to her while brushing hair from her face.

"You are such a kind man, Timothy."

"Are you still scared?"

Ziva responded with a sheepish nod. Tim squeezed her to his side kissing the top of her head.

"Just so you know, I am, too. Because, I feel the same way about you whenever we go out on a case. But we can be scared for each other, together, right?"

The operative word; together, Ziva thought and she relaxed. " Oh, my little cutie pie, I missed you so much. I started to worry you wouldn't want me back after the way I treated you." Ziva scrunched her face up as she rolled on top of Tim squeezing his cheeks then kissing him on the nose.

"Believe me...I've been treated worse. Besides. I think you were more angry with my plates."

Ziva giggled and Tim's heart soared.

Fin

Any reviews are welcome


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